I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
