Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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