she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
