woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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