My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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