fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
