And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
