After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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