I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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