let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....