In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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You pole danced in your parka.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.