Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
