i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am spending my child support on dildos
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
