the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
