How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
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I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.