i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.