I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.