Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
handjob tips. give me some.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.