No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
only you would photoshop your dick
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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