Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
