Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
