i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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