dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
