Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need water and some morals
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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