I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
and you fell through a lawn chair
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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