if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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