Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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