The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
how drunk are you?
Several
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
