Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i now understand why vodka
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize