it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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