that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize