Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
