It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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