i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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