He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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