Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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