He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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