I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
