I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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