Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
