I'm passing your future prison.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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