It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
