I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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