Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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