That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
