theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
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I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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