and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
