In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
