i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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