Jerry, you need to find god
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids