it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
