porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
