xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
