shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
