And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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