there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
