Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
