To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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