i was rollin on her like bob the builder
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
mondays should just be called national damage control day
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
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You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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