I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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