P.S. I can't hear my feet
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
