In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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