Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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